And my husband too, the poor thing. This piece is an ode to procrastination, self-doubt, and the birth of a mid-life crisis.
How beautifully written and very timely. I, too, am stuck in a vicious cycle of uncertainty and procrastination, peppered with imposter syndrome. I like the idea of embracing the unknown, I just have to name what it is that I'm good at, what I want to see emerge on the other side of this journey. Thank you for sharing your process.
You're not alone (most people just make it look like they've got it together), you're not wasting anyone's time, your husband seems wonderfully supportive and sensible and it seems to me you've worked out plenty. Considering my own procrastination galore I'm probably not the best person to give advice, objectively speaking, but I'm actually better at giving others advice than taking my own. So here goes nothing... If it's blank page syndrome, either read through what you wrote before (it'll inspire you) or do something creative of another kind (paint, sketch... Timed excercises can work great !). If it's distraction, then using an old Ipad that can't do anything except word processing is a brilliant solution. Or an oldfashioned notebook and pen. But you know, procrastination almost always comes from fear, so if you work out what it is your afraid or (failure ? Success ? Etc ?) then you'll most likely get it under control. You're doing great!
Just want you to know that I have been on a similar detour with very similar self doubt. Don't have even one single answer, but I felt a little seen and a little less alone reading your words tonight. <3
This made me smile ☺️ so it's not wasted time!